Marley barked today. The surprising utterance was aimed at the people across the hall moving out their uncle’s/brother’s/friend’s stuff. It’s not so shocking that a dog would bark, it’s just that since we brought her home from the shelter one week ago, not a peep, so it was surprising. It lured me into the minds of those who prompted the bark. Todd who owns the condo is dying and it is his family and friends that are moving his possessions. He has diabetes and since we moved in a year and a half ago he has always seemed laden with discomfort. We live on the second floor and there is no elevator. His condition limited his mobility enough to require a lift to bring him to his door. I was always tempted to put my grocery bags on it and press on but it felt somehow disrespectful. Todd was pleasant upon impromptu meetings but his pallor belied his cordiality. He didn't seem to have as many people around in his everyday life, as he does today. Sickness and impending death inspire responsibility to rise to the top. I have discovered that in the last few weeks.
I have suspected that Todd is gay. He receives a male visitor, occasionally, on weekends, a man about his age, I’m guessing 70. I may be wrong about his sexuality, but I don’t think so. If they are indeed gay, it must have been a tough evolution within their life spans. It is not easy now, with so much fear flowing about, so many having the narrow mindsets that inhibit inclusion and believing how they live is how everyone should live.
In a brief discussion with his nephew as I was taking Marley out for a walk I discovered his doctors predict he will be gone within one month’s time so they are moving him in with family for his life’s last breaths. I wonder if his friend will get to visit. I hope so.
Everyone at some point will have one month to live. Most of us will not realize it but if we did I wonder what we would do with that month. Me? I would not travel or move frantically across the planet trying to see that which I have not yet seen. I would not go cliff jumping or do something physically daring. I would stay close to those I love and absorb nature’s offerings, drink good wine and eat delicious food, and try to laugh & dance as much as possible. That’s what I would do. I blessedly realize that is what I do anyways, without the heaviness of a major life challenge. So I got that going for me.
Marley just barked again. She wants a treat. I get it girl.
Tricia Schwaba, 2013
