I aspire to be the woman wearing gold
Flaunting my jewels they’re a sight to behold
I need you to see that my house it sparkles
I need you to know my neighbors, they marvel
For mine is a life that I believe to express
The desired glistening to all who have less
I’m a skilled performer, my humility seems true
Those petty insecurities, they never show through.
I take the classes, I purchase the goods
I navigate the waters of “want to” & “should”
My desire is power to control and define
And to slide through life untouched by the grime
Inside I am a child, running from my past
The messy house, the cheap looking-glass
That image that now stares back at me
Has amassed her fortress and it has just one key.
I stare down my bloodline, it will not triumph
My kids they will soar in their jets, yes they’ll fly off
To exotic locales drenched in fashion and taste
Keeping struggle at bay ‘til facades fade away.
If only this worked, this creative avoidance
If only I knew that I lived in accordance
With Divinity’s creed and the blessings so pure
Until then, this charade, I will have to endure.
Tricia Schwaba, May 2020