Buddha, Shakti, Shiva, Jesus
Prana, Allah, & Blessed High Priestess
The garbage rises, too much to compost
The misled are leading, the masses milquetoast
Please answer the call if you hover above
Remind the haters it’s all about love
If a second coming can ever occur
Could you make it soon, don’t deter?
We need a shift, enlightenment please
If you think it will help I will fall to my knees
I’ll offer my prayer for peace to reign
Or at least reincarnation to a higher plane.
Tricia Schwaba, 2019
So tell me up there Jesus are you sitting with the Buddha?
Are Confucius & Mother Nature conversing by the Hookah?
Have we doomed ourselves down here in these materialistic halls?
Or is there hope for our collective, that we will finally heed the call?
Tricia Schwaba, 2006
I see Tom’s photo, his crown tinted red
Handsome in his gray suit, cocking his head
His jaw is strong, his eyes sparkle blue
He is young, vital and his aim is true
Time takes us all on this inevitable ride
If we’re lucky love will sit by our side
Guiding our way, navigating the turns
Staying strong as we stumble and learn
Taking the hits so unexpectedly harsh
Hoping for truth to counter the farce
Tom’s head hangs heavy, ready to go
He now travels a road that none of us know
My hope is, that his struggles released
Propel him towards a blessed relief
Of a harmonious flow with God’s true love
May he be free and at peace in the heavens above.
Tricia Schwaba, October 5, 2019
There is a lot of breakdown and death near me these days. In the last month I have witnessed my cousin’s very slow walk to passing, my brother’s disease winning the fight as his body betraying him at an alarming rate while he sits in an “Assisted Living” facility, that I’m sorry to say does not feel like a living facility at all. My 95 year old neighbor’s near 70 year old son passed 4 days ago from brain cancer, his second bout, and man I know well diagnosed with cancer that is termed “aggressive”. Luckily this man is as strong-willed as the day is long so I think his cancer cells should be ready for quite the battle.
Nearing 60 myself and the youngest of eight siblings, my eldest brother 18 years my senior, I guess this is how it will likely go. I understand that uncertainty abounds on this subject and things can shake up and take turns that we would never expect, but at the least it is likely. My mom lived until a few weeks before her 94th birthday and I recall her saying, “Trish it gets lonely. You lose all your friends and when I get an unexpected call I can’t help but go there. Who is it this time? and then you realize it’s just you.” I distinctly recall the tone of the conversation, my mom not sad really, but accepting of the fact that she outlived almost everyone she knew. But not quite everyone. Her best friend, my Godmother, is 98 and possesses the sharpest of minds. I do not get to see her often but we talk every so often and my mom always comes up. “I miss your mom” she always says. “I do too” I respond. I can only imagine that she feels like my mom, possibly wondering why she has been so fortunate while so many others are not so lucky.
My neighbor said to me yesterday as I visited with him, sitting by his side with only my compassion & sympathy to offer, “It really should have been me. I’m 95 and I’m not supposed to outlive him. I hope the good lord has something in store for me” as his head hung heavy and I saw a hint of a tear. Then he picked his head up and looked out at the calm water of the bay we both share.
I have a long way to go to match the vibrance and vitality of my mom, my Godmother and my neighbor. They all resided, and in the case of my neighbor still resides, at least part of the year, in the northwoods of Wisconsin, breathing the fresh air, swimming in the clear waters and watching the trees sway in the winds. Maybe that’s one of the keys. I’ll guess I won’t know until it’s over. I only hope for myself, that no matter how long I’m here I can exist with my mind in tact and my body moving freely. If that’s the case I will welcome it. If not, well Ill cross that bridge when I come to it. In the mean time I breathe deeply and remind myself to feel gratitude for the day in front of me.
Last evening I got a call. As I picked up the phone I had a fleeting thought and my mom jumped into my mind, “No not another one”. It wasn’t another one. Turns out that my nephew & niece-in-law are expecting their second baby. And there you have it.
Tricia Schwaba, November 1, 2019
Marley barked today. The surprising utterance was aimed at the people across the hall moving out their uncle’s/brother’s/friend’s stuff. It’s not so shocking that a dog would bark, it’s just that since we brought her home from the shelter one week ago, not a peep, so it was surprising. It lured me into the minds of those who prompted the bark. Todd who owns the condo is dying and it is his family and friends that are moving his possessions. He has diabetes and since we moved in a year and a half ago he has always seemed laden with discomfort. We live on the second floor and there is no elevator. His condition limited his mobility enough to require a lift to bring him to his door. I was always tempted to put my grocery bags on it and press on but it felt somehow disrespectful. Todd was pleasant upon impromptu meetings but his pallor belied his cordiality. He didn't seem to have as many people around in his everyday life, as he does today. Sickness and impending death inspire responsibility to rise to the top. I have discovered that in the last few weeks.
I have suspected that Todd is gay. He receives a male visitor, occasionally, on weekends, a man about his age, I’m guessing 70. I may be wrong about his sexuality, but I don’t think so. If they are indeed gay, it must have been a tough evolution within their life spans. It is not easy now, with so much fear flowing about, so many having the narrow mindsets that inhibit inclusion and believing how they live is how everyone should live.
In a brief discussion with his nephew as I was taking Marley out for a walk I discovered his doctors predict he will be gone within one month’s time so they are moving him in with family for his life’s last breaths. I wonder if his friend will get to visit. I hope so.
Everyone at some point will have one month to live. Most of us will not realize it but if we did I wonder what we would do with that month. Me? I would not travel or move frantically across the planet trying to see that which I have not yet seen. I would not go cliff jumping or do something physically daring. I would stay close to those I love and absorb nature’s offerings, drink good wine and eat delicious food, and try to laugh & dance as much as possible. That’s what I would do. I blessedly realize that is what I do anyways, without the heaviness of a major life challenge. So I got that going for me.
Marley just barked again. She wants a treat. I get it girl.
Tricia Schwaba, 2013
The rain falls down from the heavens above
Reminding me of my long lost love,
Not a man, a woman, or a human at all
But the healing mist of divinity’s call.
Tricia Schwaba, 2019
Breathing is yoga.
Walking in nature is yoga.
Creating a beautiful living space is yoga.
Eating well & relishing what you eat is yoga.
Playing with friends (at any age!) is yoga.
Being kind to yourself & others is yoga.
Oh and Warrior pose?
That’s are yoga too.
Be the beauty as you move ahead
This journey of life will keep you fed
The relationship, with you, yourself
The years gone by, the things you’ve felt.
Those unsteady steps from where you began
Now grounded, balanced, firm where you stand
You uncover the grace that resides within
Understanding that we continually begin
Again and again you’ll soar, you’ll glide
Enjoying this sacred mysterious ride.
Tricia Schwaba, 2019
I sit here balancing on the edge of too late
My face is cracking at an alarming rate
My long held passions are beginning to crumble
And my physical body is threatening to stumble
When did the days start passing in a flurry
And when did the print begin looking so blurry?
With time’s eminent passing I am losing my mojo
And simply can’t view another Kardashian photo.
That slimy, ego-based quest for perfection
Is causing me to do some earnest reflection,
Is slicing and stretching my skin real tight
Going to break my angst, help me sleep through the night?
Society’s answer for staving of aging
Is to battle the war that gravity is waging
The ass that was once nice & high, even firm
Is despite all my yoga beginning to squirm.
In spite of my fear I know there’s still time
To ratchet up my passion, get my ducks in a line.
I’ll write that book, I’ll climb that mountain
I’ll drink in the love & dance in the fountain.
Or at least I will savor this day that is here
Conquer hesitations and face down my fear
And know that the point is to love and be loved
And when given the chance, thank the stars up above.
I sit here balancing on the edge of too late
My face is cracking at an alarming rate
My long held passions are beginning to crumble
And my physical body is threatening to stumble
When did the days start passing in a flurry
And when did the print begin looking so blurry?
With time’s eminent passing I am losing my mojo
And simply can’t view another Kardashian photo.
That slimy, ego-based quest for perfection
Is causing me to do some earnest reflection,
Is slicing and stretching my skin real tight
Going to break my angst, help me sleep through the night?
Society’s answer for staving of aging
Is to battle the war that gravity is waging
The ass that was once nice & high, even firm
Is despite all my yoga beginning to squirm.
In spite of my fear I know there’s still time
To ratchet up my passion, get my ducks in a line.
I’ll write that book, I’ll climb that mountain
I’ll drink in the love & dance in the fountain.
Or at least I will savor this day that is here
Conquer hesitations and face down my fear
And know that the point is to love and be loved
And when given the chance, thank the stars up above.
Tricia Schwaba
Tricia Schwaba
828 846 9007
tricia@triciaschwaba.com
brightbluesage@gmail.com